KATIE & Sarah in:
  qUEST FOR THE  GOLDEN TEMPLE
“Could you remind me again why we’re here?” asked Katie. “And why instead of me lying out in the bright sunshine in an itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny-yellow-polka-dot-bikini, I am traipsing through a mosquito infested rainforest in a green Pack-a-Mac?”
		“We’re here to rescue Mr Goodrich, remember?” Sarah replied. “He’s been kidnapped!”
		“And why exactly do we want to rescue Mr Goodrich?”
		“Because he’s my chocolate-covered honeybunny sex god?”
		“Ooh, I think the tuna sandwich I just ate is about to come right back up….”
		“Good. You can feed the mosquitoes and then maybe they’ll leave us alone!”
		“Get a life you electrified telephone wire.”
		In case you’re wondering what’s going on, I think I’d better explain. One day during geography, the secretary had walked in with a message for Sarah that looked a little like this….

IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR CHOCOLATE-COVERED HONEYBUNNY SEX GOD EVER AGAIN THEN GO TO THE GOLDEN TEMPLE IN THE HEART OF THE PUERTO RICAN RAINFOREST AND LEAVE TEN MILLION POUNDS IN CASH ON THE DOORSTEP OR GOODRICH GETS IT!
SIGNED MR RICHA - ERR….. MR X
		And so that’s what they were doing in the jungle. Or rather, that’s what Sarah was doing. Katie was just feeling very, very annoyed.
		“Alright then, Miss Smarty-pants!” She said. “If you know exactly what we’re doing, tell me WHERE THE HELL WE ARE!”
		“Ok, ok. Keep your knickers on.”
		“I very much intend to do so!”
		“Right,” replied Sarah, “according to my calculations and this world map, we are……… here!” Her finger hit the map.
		“Let me see that……” After taking a quick glimpse of where Sarah was pointing, Katie got down on her knees and bowed her head.
		“What are you doing?”
		“Well, Miss Whereat, according to your calculations, we are now right in the centre of WESTMINSTER ABBEY!!!”
		“Westmi…. Oh. Oops.”
		“Give me the freakin’ map you freakin’ freak!” And so Katie navigated.
		They had been in the rainforest for a couple of days now, after being air-lifted into the canopy by Mr Poswal, who had kindly lent them his private helicopter. It was boiling hot and endlessly humid, but it rained for five hours at a time with only a one hour gap in between. When Sarah had told Katie that they were going to Puerto Rico, this was totally not what Katie had in mind.
		And so they trampled on through the undergrowth, but they didn’t seem to be making much progress because Sarah screamed and leapt into Katie’s arms every time she saw any type of insect, (and believe me, there’s an awful lot of insects in the Puerto Rican rainforest) and Katie kept stopping because pretty much every tree she saw reminded her of Mr Isaac. All things considered, they were not making very good headway in their quest for the Golden Temple. In fact, after days of walking, they were still only two miles away from were they started.
		“Grrr!” Yelled Katie. “I’ve had enough! We’re not getting anywhere! That’s it, I’m going home!”
		“But look, Katie! The path splits into three!”
		“A fork in the road! Yes!”
		“A fork? Where? Have I dropped my cutlery?” Sarah dropped to the floor and began scrabbling around frantically.
		“No, you twisted idiot, not that type of fork, a…..” Sarah gave her a crazed look. “Never mind. Anyway, which way do we go?”
		“I’m not leaving until I’ve got my fork back! Do you think my spoon’s missing, too? Oh lordy oh lordy…..” 
		Katie sighed and turned back to the path. Which way should they go? How an earth was she supposed to decide? It wasn’t like Sarah was capable of deciding anything.
		“Oh, this is impossible!” She cried, practically tearing out her hair. “I wish we’d never come! Never never never never never! It’s IMPOSSIBLE!”
		“Not entirely….”
		Katie turned round, shocked. That voice wasn’t Sarah’s, so where was it coming from?
		“Huh? Wh-who’s there?”
		“Look up, dollface. It’s Campman to the rescue!” Another voice. What was going on? Katie looked up.
		Two smug-looking monkeys sat up in the tree, eating small bananas. They strangely reminded her of Alice and Simon…. Their tails were entwined, and they looked down on her mockingly.
		“Who are you?” She asked. “Talking monkeys? What’s up with that?”
		“Ooh ooh aa aa!” Screamed the female. “See? We speak monkey as well. Anyway, we want to help you with your ‘quest’!” The two monkeys exploded in peals of laughter that rang in Katie’s ears. Sarah, however, just said:
		“Look! Pigs!” And went back to scrabbling around in the dirt.
		“Well,” taunted the male monkey, “look who needs our help! We know the way to the Golden Temple, and you don’t!”
		“Yeah!” Added the female. “So you better be nice!”
(More insane laughter.)
		“Who are you?” Katie asked, puzzled.
		“I’m Funky Monkey,” replied the monkey-girl. “And he’s my Spunky Monkey. We know how to get to the temple. And you don’t!” (Still more insane laughter.)
		“Ok, then, you said you would help me! Tell me how to get to the freakin’ temple!”
		“Play nice!” Said Spunky Monkey. (Yet more insane laughter, but this time it came from Sarah as well, who was apparently laughing at something the sole of her shoe had just said.) “If the golden temple you wish to see, answer me these riddles three; logical is not the game, if you want the answers - you have to think insane!”
		“What the…….. Sarah!” Yelled Katie.
		“Yes daddy?”
		“Answer riddles for the nice - uh - piggies, will you?”
		“Fiddles? I like fiddles! Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle, Lily jumped over the moon!”
		“Get on with it, Captain Electrified.” Said Katie.
		“Well,” taunted Funky Monkey, “if you think this weirdo is insane enough to answer our riddles…… Go ahead, Spunky!”
		“1: How many chickens will fit in a barrel of cheese juice?
		 2: Why is the moon made of cheese? And
		 3: Why are these questions all about cheese?”
		Sarah scratched her head for a moment, before leaping up and shouting;
		“Aha! As many as twice as much as half of them, Because I say so, and Because you just happen to like cheese!”
		Spunky Monkey fell of his perch in shock, before Funky Monkey grabbed him with her tail and swung him back up to the branch.
		“Fine!” She said, sounding rather peeved. “Turn left.” Then she turned around and muttered under her breath; “Losers.”
		“Come on, Sarah.” Called Katie. It looked like Sarah’s insanity might come in handy after all.

     Mr Richards sat in the golden temple, eagerly awaiting Katie and Sarah’s arrival. Yes, he was the evil villain behind all this, and it seemed like his plan was going well. So there he sat in his enormous black swivel chair, stroking his white cat and cackling evilly to himself; when in walked Lily.
		“Hey baby…..” Purred Mr Richards.
		“Don’t you ‘hey baby’ me! Why do I have to wear this?”
		“Because, my pretty, it turns me on….”
		“Eew! Gross!” Mr Richards gave her one of his ‘looks’.
		“Now Lily, my sexy fountain of gorgeousness, remember our little agreement?”
		(I should point out at this moment that Lily was wearing a leather split-top cat suit, complete with bunny ears and fluffy tail.)
		“Yes, Matty, I know. Get rid of Goodrich and those annoying pupils of yours and we get away with loads of cash and you buy me pretty things and we get action all day. I know all that! But when’s it going to happen?” She swung her legs over his swivel chair and sat there on the arms, draping herself across him.
		“Very soon, my pretty, very soon…… A ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!” (That sounds much better when read aloud, trust me.)
“Sarah, you twisted butt-licker! Where are you?” Called Katie. Sarah had run on ahead, and she was left to stand under a huge tree, trying to catch her breath. “Sarah! Get back here now!”
She heard a strange grunting from behind the tree she was leaning against, and crept round the trunk to see what was going on.
“Grunt grunt hawrrrk!”
“Eeeeek!” Yelled Katie, leaping back about a mile. Some obscene, grossly disfigured creature had jumped out at her from behind a bush! “Help!” The figure came closer, and as it approached Katie saw just what this hideous creature was….
“Sarah!!! You…. You idiot! What the hell do you think you’re doing???”
“I’m tracking his scent! Mmm…. Goodrich…. This way!”
“Phew!” With her hand on her head, Katie trudged after Sarah, breathing heavily. She had almost had a heart attack!
“After walking for another couple of hours, Katie’s feet were sore and aching. As they trampled through another stretch of undergrowth, the strain was beginning to take its toll on them, and they both couldn’t wait to get to their next stop. Their nearest base camp was only a little way away, and they just had to cross the bridge over the river to get there. Katie knew they were close by, due to her amazing map skills and Sarah’s amazing… err…. Nose. It would be getting dark soon.
When they arrived at the river’s edge, however, what they saw was quite unexpected. The bridge was gone!
“What!!?? Antelopes???!!” Yelled Sarah. What Katie said is something that is far too obscene to right down, so here’s an idea;
“The ****** **** bridge is ****** **** ***** gone? Oh ***** ***** ***** **** ****!!!!! This is all your ***** ***** **** fault, *** ***** Whereat!”
“I blame the antelopes! Antelopes I tell you!” Katie just collapsed on the ground.
“Wait,” said Sarah suddenly, “I can hear a noise! It sounds like…. Chicken and chips?”
“What?” Katie listened for a moment, before her eyes brightened and she began leaping up and down like a crazed chimp on drugs. “I’d know that sound anywhere! It’s….. It’s….”
“Never fear, Nicodeamus is here!” And there, roaring through the trees, came Mr Isaac’s trusty Land Rover. 
“MY LOVER! OH MR ISAAC, YOU [censored, as this is too rude to print in a children’s publication]! YOU SEXY HUNK OF A MAN YOU! WE’RE SAVED!”
	“Did he bring my chicken and chips?” Asked Sarah.
As Katie ran to greet Mr Isaac, Sarah investigated ways in which they could cross the raging river. Granted, she did this by asking a nearby tree, but hey, she still found nothing.
“What are we going to do, Boyd?” Sarah questioned Mr Isaac. “We have to cross these sandwiches!”
“Erm…..”
“She means the river.” Katie translated.
“Aha!” Cried Mr Isaac. “This looks like a job for me, your marvellous DT teacher!!”
“Are you going to cut down some trees and build us a bridge?” 
“No! I am going to use Katie’s underwear to swing across!”

“And you thought I was insane.” Said Sarah.
“You are!” Katie replied.
Within five minutes, Katie’s underwear (conveniently found beneath the back seats of Mr Isaac’s Land Rover), had been knotted and twisted together to form one very long pink rope, tastefully topped off with a pink bow that had once belonged to Katie as well. It was finished.
Mr Isaac threw the rope in a Tarzan-like fashion over a tree branch, before grabbing Katie round the middle and swinging her over the crocodile-infested river to safety. However, just as he was about to go back for Sarah, she jumped onto a crocodiles mouth and on to the next, hopping across until she reached the other side.
Katie and Mr Isaac were gobsmacked.
“How the hell did you do that?” Katie gasped.
“I was dropped headfirst into a lake of crocodiles when I was a baby”
“Well that sure explains a lot.”
 After waving goodbye to Mr Isaac, and after Sarah managed to prise Katie’s hands from his legs, she had to drag Katie back into the jungle to continue with their quest. All Sarah knew was, she had to rescue her chocolate-covered honey-bunny sex god, because her shoe told her to. Or something like that. There was at least two more days to go before they finally reached their goal - the golden temple.
“Katie?” Sarah asked that night as they lay in their tent.
“Yeah?”
“What do you think of the economic instability in Russia?”
“Sarah?”
“Yeah?”
“SHUT YOUR GOB!!”
“Ok Bunny.”
“Well, well, well. What have we here then?”
It was pitch black inside the dungeon. Dense cobwebs hung from every corner, and rats squeaked from somewhere not far away. There, against one wall, a man was chained up in the corner. In a bathtub, oddly enough.
“Mmmm a hmmm a uum hum!” 
“I’m glad you agree.”
That first voice, of course, belonged to the dreadfully evil Mr Richards. Was there no end to the terror he could inflict? “
“Ok, then, let’s take your gag away.” The evil geography teacher pulled away the cheesy sock that had been wedged firmly in Mr Goodrich’s mouth, and then said; “So, Goodrich…. Where’s your faithful little electrified telephone wire?”
“Bite me.”
“I’ll leave that to my lady friend. LILY!!!” She ran into the room.
“Yes, my hunky babe?”
“Show Mr Goodrich what your made of, will you dear?” Lily began to undress. “No, no, not that…… I meant beat him up!”
“OH! Oh! Why didn’t you just say so?” 
Whack! Lily’s fist came into close contact with Mr Goodrich’s nose.
“Ouch!” She cried. Turns out his nose was bigger than Lily had thought.
“Ah well,” said Mr Richards, “I suppose watching you undress would be more torturous for him anyway. Go ahead, Lilz.”
“Anything for you, Matty.”
Mr Richards left the dungeon. He could hear Goodrich’s screams echoing down the corridors. When he finally reached his secret office, he collapsed in his evil villain swivel chair with his furry white cat - and waited for Sarah and Katie to walk into his trap.

The next morning, Katie awoke to the peaceful sound of birds singing, the distant trickle of water, and Sarah’s conversation with a tree creeper. They had been in the forest for day’s now, and Katie had almost given up hope of ever finding Sarah’s “Chocolate-covered honeybunny Sex-God”. However, Sarah had other ideas. She was convinced that the Golden Temple was somewhere nearby - but judging by Sarah’s skills of navigation this was debateable.
Katie climbed out of her sleeping bag and, still half-asleep, was folding up the tent when she heard another strange noise.
“Sarah?” She called. “Sarah? Come here! I think I’ve found something!”
“Is it the delivery guy with my chicken and chips?”
“Sarah, you never ordered any chicken and chips you dumbass.”
“Yes I did!”
“How? Did you communicate using magic waffles? Besides, no delivery guy’s ever gonna deliver to the middle of the freakin’ Costa Rican Rainforest!”
“I did order them! I did!” Sarah was on the verge of tears now.
“How?”
“I used my mobile phone!” She pulled it out of her pocket.
“WHAT????” Bellowed Katie. Sarah backed away slowly “YOU HAD YOUR ******* PHONE THIS WHOLE TIME AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME?????”
“I-I never felt the need to….” Sarah muttered.
“WE HAVE A FREAKIN PHONE, GARBAGE BRAIN! WE COULD HAVE CALLED MR ISAAC! EMERGENCY SERVICES! AUTO NAVIGATOR! FIND YOUR NEAREST MCDONALDS! MR RICHARDS, EVEN! WE CAN CALL ******* ANYBODY AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME!!”
Sarah burst out crying. 
“M-me and m-my shoe thought it wouldn’t be w-worth it, that you w-wouldn’t need it….. waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!” She clung to Katie’s leg and buried her face in it.
“Get off me, you loon, your making my skirt all wet! Bolt your head back together, Whereat, and gimme your phone!”
After grabbing Sarah’s phone off her, Katie put her ear to the receiver and dialled ‘123 SAVE MY BUTT”, a company she had heard of on TV.
“They’ll sort us out.” She said.
 There was a short dial tone, and then a woman’s voice said;
“Welcome to the ‘I Am In Distress Please Save My Butt Helpline. How may we help you?”
“Well, you see, I….”
“Please hold.” A short period of silence followed by some Junior Senior, and then….
“Here are your options. If you are being eaten by piranhas, press 1. If your head is frozen in an ice toilet, press 2. If you are being set on fire by your grandmother, press 3. For more options, press 4.”
Katie pressed 4.
“Please hold.”
“Oh ****!”
“Here are your options. If your computer has turned into a cannibal, press 5. If you are helplessly in love with your D.T teacher, press 6.”
Katie nearly pressed that button, but then remembered the matter at hand.
“If you can’t stop counting sheep, press 7. If you have aliens in your head, press 8. If you’re trapped in a cave full of yetis, press 9. Coincidentally, if Lily McPhilimey is trying to shag you, dial 999 NOW!”
“Come on, come on! I’m running out of numbers to press!” Muttered Katie.
“And finally - if you are trapped in a rainforest in pursuit of your crazy friend’s lover who has been kidnapped by your evil geography teacher, press the star key immediately.”
“THANKYOU!” 
“*”
“Welcome to the Jerry Springer helpline! Today’s topic is - ‘I’m trapped in a rainforest in pursuit of my crazy friend’s love who has been kidnapped by my evil geography teacher!’ How may we help you?”
“GET ME TO THE FREAKIN’ TEMPLE ALREADY, YOU STUPID ANSWERING MACHINE!”
“I resent that!”
“Huh?” 
The machine took back its computerised voice again.
“If you want my help, press 1. If you want someone else’s help, press 2. If you just dialled this number by accident when you really meant to dial Pizza Hut, press…..”
“HOW ABOUT YOU GIVE ME THE ******* DIRECTIONS TO THE TEMPLE OR I GO TO YOUR OFFICE AND SNAP YOUR ******* NECK OFF!”
“OK, ok. Turn left at the Kapok Tree, right at the watering hole and it’s up above. Now will you stop shouting?”
“Up above? UP ABOVE? WHAT THE HELL’S THAT SUPPOSED TO ******* MEAN! CAN’T YOU ******* PEOPLE SPEAK ******* ENGLISH? HELLO? Hello?”
Beep. 123 SAVE MY BUTT had hung up on her. Oh well. She was just going to have to follow their stupid directions as far as she could.
“Sarah!” Katie called.
“Yes chicken?”
“Get your ass down here now. We’re going to find the golden temple!”
And so they set off again. They turned left at the giant Kapok Tree, and as they carried on walking down the tree sheltered path, Sarah spotted the watering hole a little way away.
When they reached it, Sarah instinctively ran around the edge. Suddenly she stopped mid-run.
“Katie?”
“Yes?”
“I can’t see my feet.”
“What the….. Oh Sarah you idiot! You walked right into the quicksand!”
“How was I to know? It’s not like there was a sign!” Katie pointed.

EXTREME DANGER!
QUICKSAND AHEAD!
DO NOT ENTER!

“Oops.” Was Sarah’s reply.
Katie walked safely to the other side before pulling Sarah out, who was now covered in sand up to her waist. Katie fell flat on her back and was promptly landed on by Sarah, which, I guarantee you, is not a very pleasant experience.
“Mmmf! Get off of me you clumsy oaf.” Katie pushed her aside, and then walked forward into a large clearing, that appeared to be totally empty. “Drat! Those morons were spinning me a yarn!”
Sarah, however, seemed very preoccupied with her usual staring blankly at the sky. Or so Katie thought. But when she too looked up at the sky, she saw the most amazing thing…….
“THE GOLDEN TEMPLE!” Sarah cried in delight. For it was indeed a door, floating in the air about twenty feet from the ground below. A golden door, brightly gilded with carved monkeys and parrots, and it glinted in the sunlight.
“We came all this way for a door? Where’s the rest of it?”
“Let’s go find out…..” Sarah replied.
They climbed up a nearby tree whose branches stuck out into the clearing.
“I still can’t see the ...... oof!” Katie walked straight into one invisible wall. “Oh. Found it.”
Sarah carefully edged her way along one branch that led to the door, holding on to the walls as she went. Katie followed behind rubbing her sore nose, wishing Mr Isaac was there to kiss it better. When they finally reached the door, it seemed ten times bigger than it had appeared from the ground. Sarah slowly pushed it open, and quickly - but carefully - they stepped inside.
And gasped. It was big. Huge. MASSIVE even. It was a huge entrance hall made entirely from gold, littered with jewels and giant statues. Katie’s flashlight made glittering, dancing patterns on the walls. It was truly breathtaking.
However, there was a downside. Leading off from the hall were loads of different passages, leading off to anywhere and everywhere. One was marked ‘SNAKE PIT’, while another read ‘TUNNEL OF SUPREME DOOM’. Katie shuddered. 
I am sooo not going down that one, she thought.
“Aha!” Cried Sarah. “This one says ‘TO THE DUNGEONS’! That must be where they’ve got Mr Goodrich.
“I’m not so sure about this, Sarah.” Katie replied. “This place has got ‘trap’ written all over it!”
“Duh! None of the passages say that!”
“No…. no, that’s not what I meant. I’m sure this is a trap! We walk down that corridor and the next thing you know it’s….Bang!” Sarah jumped. “They shoot us in the head! I’m too young and sexy to die!”
“Oh stop being such a worry-wart. Come on!”
Sarah ran off down the passage, with Katie following closely behind. It was dark, even with the light from the torch, and the passage seemed to be endless. 
“It’s like Indiana bloody Jones!” Panted Katie as she followed Sarah around another dark corner. “Hey! Wait up, Wear-A-Hat!”
They sped around bend after bend.They had been running for what seemed like hours, before Sarah suddenly came to a halt in the middle of the passage.
“Can’t - run - too - tired….” She sank back against the corner, and Katie stood at her side.
“Bloomin’ heck!” Said Katie. “This ******* temple just goes on forever! No wonder they had to make it invisible so no-one would find it!”
They both stood, propped against the wall for a good ten minutes. Katie was just dropping off to sleep when she heard a loud cry….
“Katie!”
“What is it?”
“You know what you said about this place being a trap? Well I’m beginning to think you were right….”
Katie looked up to see Sarah’s head firmly in Lily’s grasp.
“Well, well, well. Didn’t we fall for that trap rather nicely?” Mr Richards said to the two prisoners. Katie and Sarah were chained to the wall of the dungeon, opposite Mr Goodrich in his bath tub. The air was thick and damp, and Lily stood in the corner looking rather un-glamorous in her bunny girl outfit, clutching a strange looking contraption.
“I didn’t think it was very nice…” Muttered Sarah.
“Quiet you! When you two and this blithering idiot (he gestured at Mr Goodrich) are history, I’ll be living the life of riley! I’ll be head of geography! Head of humanities! Head of year! Head of the SCHOOL!” He cackled evilly. “It’s a shame you three won’t be alive to see it! LILY!”
“Yes babe?” 
“Bring me the whatsit, will you?” 
“Wotsits? What d’you want Wotsits for?”
“Not Wotsits, Lily! The Annihilation Machine!”
“Oh, that! Why didn’t you just say so?”
Lily walked forwards and placed the contraption right in front of Mr Richards, who cackled evilly once again.
“This,” he said, “is my incredible, most amazing, wonderful, ingenious…..”
“Enough with the self-praise already!” Yelled Katie. “What the hell is that thing!”
“Take a close look, sweetie.” Mr Richards said. “Because it may just be the last thing you see!” (More laughter).
He pulled a few switches, twisted a few buttons and when he was done, he pointed the thing straight at the prisoners.
“You know I said you three would be history…. - one of the lesser humanities subjects, I must say - well I meant it literally! This thing’s going to blast you back to the Jurassic!”
“Mmmf!” Cried Mr Goodrich in protest.
“Yes! This is my time machine! Say your prayers, keeners, - have a nice life! Or should I say death!” He burst into a fit of evil laughter this time, almost collapsing on the floor at his own joke. The he reached forward to push the final lever.
But he was too late.
Katie has swung forward on her chains, and she karate kicked the machine. It began to spin madly out of control, killer lasers flashing everywhere. One sliced off the prisoner’s chains, and so Katie and Sarah dropped to the floor as the machine spun faster and faster.
And then it turned on its owners.
“Nooooo!” Screamed Lily. But in a blur of colour and a flash of light, they were gone.

“Where are we? Asked Mr Richards, looking around. The sky was orange coloured and the smell of sulphur was in the air. It was hot and strange tropical plants grew all around, shielding them from the hot sun which was baking the ground and causing it to crack open. It was a very strange place.
“Where are we?” Mr Richards repeated desperately. However, Lily was not replying. She was just staring at something behind him. The geography teacher turned and saw a huge object towering over him. Lily finally got the courage to speak and slowly raised her hand, and went;
“D-D-D-DINOSAUR!” 
They began to run, but they weren’t fast enough. The giant Tyrannosaurus swallowed them in one big bite.
From the dinosaur’s gullet, you could just about hear Lily say
“I hate when this happens!”
Gulp!

“I am so glad that’s over!” Said Katie, as she lay on the school bench, working on her tan. Mr Isaac was lovingly massaging sun cream into her back, while Mr Goodrich was still worshipping Sarah.
“Oh Sarah, my gorgeous babe! You saved me from Lily’s naked body! I’ll love you forever! Goddess! Vixen!”
Katie wondered if this guy was on drugs.
As they lay in the morning sun, the seagulls squawking over their heads, Katie spotted their friend, Sophie, walking up to them.
Sarah leapt up.
“Sophie! You’ll never believe what’s happened! Lily and Mr Richards kidnapped Mr Goodrich and we had to travel through the rainforest to save them and Mr Isaac built a bridge out of Katie’s underwear and I got stuck in quicksand and we found them in this invisible golden temple and Mr Richards tried to kill us but instead we foiled his plan and sent him and Lily back in time, and then….”
Sophie replied “Screw that.” And walked off.

THE END