Often things that are started need finishing. But not all things.

Take, for instance, this story. It has a beginning, middle and an egg, but no end. 

You could call it an endless story, but it doesn’t go on forever.  (Thank God)

So let’s just call it;

THE STORY THAT NEVER GOT FINISHED


Eggbert was a smart egg. He always did what he was told and liked to play cards - sometimes he indulged in a little gardening. But that wasn’t the half of it.

Eggbert was special. He didn’t know it, but he possessed a strange power that allowed him to contact a person’s inner egg and explode it mercilessly. A power that could be used for the greater good of mankind - or for pure evil.

“Dum de dum dum dum……” He hummed as he rolled down the street, squashing three postboxes and a BT phone booth. Granted, he was only an egg, but these day metal just isn’t what it used to be.

As he was rolling along peacefully, Eggbert rolled into a lamppost. 

“Ouch!” Cried the lamppost, rubbing its knee (that’s the knobbly bit halfway up) and crying its lights out.

“Oh, I’m sorry Mr Lamppost! I never meant to hurt you! I was just rolling along!”

“It’s not you that I’m crying about, Eggbert, it’s that blundering blizzard of a Bleached Blanket!”

“The what-now?”

“The Bleached Blanket! The evil villain who’s trying to destroy all endings!”

“Why’s he called the Bleached Blanket?”

“Because he is one, duh!”

Eggbert left the lamppost to drown its sorrows and rolled down to the local pub, which was full of happy policemen and the odd poison-dart frog trying to play poker with an aardvark (but that was only on certain occasions, like today). 
“Happy Glue Stick Day!” They cried as Eggbert entered the bar. They then proceeded to cover him in P.V.A glue.

“Eeek!” Shouted Eggbert. “I’m stuck to the floor!” 

But suddenly…..

“Never fear! Bob is here!”

A man wearing a tuxedo and a bonnet flew through the window on a jet-ski, clutching a freeze ray.

“Bob?” Asked Eggbert.

“Yes, Bob. I’m the superhero of your intergalactic dreams.”

“What intergalactic dreams?”

“You’re not Spaceman Spiff?”

“Uh - no…..”

“Rats, wrong pub. Oh well. Release!”

Eggbert became unstuck. It had been a very sticky situation. Besides, Eggbert had no limbs. He really should learn how to hatch into a chicken, and then maybe people would stop sticking him to floors. Not to mention trying to fry him.

He spotted a signpost. It pointed in three directions: ZOO, LIBRARY or CERTAIN DOOM.

So Eggbert set off towards the library.

It’ll be nice and peaceful in there, he thought. No glue sticks or Teflon frying pans. Just lots of lovely quiet books. 

However, when he got there it was a totally different story. The books were shrieking and flying about in all directions, whilst yelling things like “I happen to have a very happy ending!” and “But you’ll never find out if she gets out of the rabbit hole!” etc. etc.

“Eeek!” Shrieked Eggbert as Pride and Prejudice narrowly missed him

He spotted Spongebob Squarepants’ evil twin, Squarebob Spongepants, sat on a high shelf trying to protect himself with the Oxford English Dictionary.

“You can’t eat the end of the dictionary!” Squarebob protested. “All the letters from T-Z will disappear! I don’t want to be Sqarebob Spongepans! It’s wrong! Wrong I tell you!”

But it was too late. The Bleached Blanket had swallowed the end of the dictionary whole.

“Ra*s!” Cried Eggber*. “I kne* I sho*ld ha*e gone *o *he *oo!

“*ell *ell.” Said a passing monkey. “*ho *o*ld ha*e *ho*gh* i*! Gorillas!”

THE MIDDLE