Soaps just got weird...

Aren't soaps boring these days? There's your Eastenders (everyone fights each other before yelling "I am your father/daughter/goldfish! and then moving to Ibiza), your Coronation Street (go to the cafe, have a bit of a chat, go home) or even your Home And Away (wander around on a gorgeous beach in a bikini and hope no-one notices there's not actually a storyline). It's not wonder the ratings are falling. What we really need is some kind of really random comedy/horror/all-action soap...

And thus came -

RETURN OF THE SHEEP

A soap set in the picturesque seaside town of Little Pigling, Return of the Sheep revolves around the local pub, the Sheep's Return. You just know it's going to be good when the themetune is by Metallica, the town just happens to be built right on the edge of a cliff on an major fault line and there are frequent guest appearances by George Foreman.

In the first episode, the entire area is invaded by an army of giant percent signs that can go on forever (rechargeable feet, you see). They are angry and hoping to get rid of their odourous cats. No-one is quite sure why their cats smell, but that's all part of the mystery. Anxious to save their homes, the characters decide to band together - armed with nothing but a pioneer (wearing a Davy Crockett hat, no doubt), a Flashduck (we're not quite sure what that is) and various pots and pans - to fight the percent signs. The only problem is, someone's gone and tied all their shoelaces together...

Liking the sound of this (I bet you so are)? Here's the character list...

Grekken Flounder - Martin Freeman (friendly barman with a bad case of amnesia.)

Irene Cakefoot - Catherine Tate (a woman who is oblivious to the fact that her left foot is permanently on fire)

Jebediah Flannel - Rowan Atkinson (just some old guy with a stick who pops up occasionally saying "I say we fry 'em!")

Sally Gymstick - Tamsin Greig (a rather confused person who is permenantly asking questions)

Marvin Gymstick - David Walliams (a husband who is permanently answering questions and has a tendency to walk into walls)

Turnbull Hardman - Matt Lucas (local who has is perfectly normal until anyone mentions cows at which point he turns into a homicidal maniac and starts screaming "REVENGE!!")

Little Jimmy Cobbler - Bill Bailey (basically just Bill Bailey impersonating a small child for the hell of it)

So, are you excited already? Eager to tune in every week? Wha... what do you mean no? Hey, come back! Hey!

I'll be going now...

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