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Ever wanted to see some random lists made by me? What do you mean "No"? Well tough. They're here.

The Top 20 Things to do with Laws

1. In 1837 a British Judge ruled that if a man kissed a woman against her will she was legally allowed to bite his nose off.

2. In Vermont it is illegal to deny the existence of God.

3. It is against the law to yell out "Snake!" within the city limits of Flowery Branch, Georgia.

4. In Pennsylvania: "Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes."

5. In Texas it is illegal to have sex with a fish, in Florida it is illegal to get a fish drunk, and N.Carolina thought both laws were good so in NC it is illegal to have sex with a drunk fish .

6. In Riverside, California, there is an old law on the city's books which makes it illegal to kiss unless both people wipe their lips with rose water.

7. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

8. In Alaska, it is illegal to look at a moose from the window of an airplane or any other flying vehicle.

9. It is illegal to cross the state boundries of Iowa with a duck on your head.

10. Sheep theft is still legally a hangable offense in Scotland.

11. In Chester, England, you can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight.

12. In Liverpool, England it is against the law to have topless saleswomen. That is, unless they are working in a tropical fish store.

13. In Tennessee, USA, a man must walk in front of any car driven by a woman, while waving a red flag as a warning.

14. According to 1649 Massachusetts law, punishment for children over the age of 16 acting stubborn or rebellious was death.

15. In Greene, New York, you cannot walk backwards and eat peanuts on the sidewalks during a concert.

16. A San Diego man sued the city for emotional trauma during a concert when he saw women using the men's rest room.

17. In Melbourne, Australia it is illegal for men to parade in strapless dresses; however, they are allowed to cross-dress in anything with sleeves.

18. It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.

19. According to Illinois state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is "American."

20. In Texas criminals are required to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

And one that isn't technically a law but still good:

1995 -- Recently, Chesapeake, Va., inmate Robert Lee Brock filed a $5 million lawsuit against Robert Lee Brock ,accusing himself of violating his religious beliefs and his civil rights by getting himself drunk enough to engage in various crimes. He wrote, "I want to pay myself $5 million [for this breach of rights] but ask the state to pay it in my behalf since I can't work and am a ward of the state." In April, the lawsuit was dismissed.

Top 20 Silly Things My Friends Say

1. "Yargh! Someone's thieved me moneys!" - Yasmin

2. "It's like Chavs-On-Ice: The Musical!" - Kieran

3. "Ah, the sweet making of no sense." - Me

4. "We have hats." - Mark Pearce

5. "And he dialled one...two...triangle!" - Rob

6. "I don't want gay rights at the moment thankyou, I want a haircut!" - Rhiannon

7. "You're like the magic power ranger of everything!" - Hattie

8. "How do you make love?" - Alice (she got confused after Natasha wrote 'love' on our props list)

9. "9 out of 10 blind orphans can't tell the difference." - Rob

10. "There's only two contestants left in the Big BBQ house: Sausage and Burger!" - Peter

11. "It's like getting blood from a bloody stone..." - Susan a.k.a Adam (not technically my friend.)

12. "650,000? That's not a real number!" - Alice

13. "This is a victory for people who are me everywhere!" - Me

14. "Poking it does bad things." - James V

15. "What do you mean, a small boiling old man?" - Rob

16. "Of course, we need a common code word. Zbingbong!" - Sarah

17. "Pudding." - Wanda/Me/Rob/James

18. "And a bloooody pencil..." - The very tuneful Rich (not technically my friend either.)

19. "I can't do funny on impulse!" - Kieran

20. "Are eggs a fruit or a vegetable?" - Yasmin

Plus two random conversations:

Yasmin: Isn't Tom Ashley a girl?
Me: *laughing* No!
Yasmin: Oh! I was thinking of Mary-Kate and Ashley...
Alice: At least he's not an elmo.
Yasmin: Elmo? Like tickle-me-Elmo?
Alice: Oh, no, I mean emo! Emo!

(and a contribution from Gen a.k.a. Mangryspork:)

Cousin: Why is it 9 o'clock in the morning? Is it 9am in America?
Uncle: No, they're on the other side of the world.
Cousin: Do they walk upside-down?

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