"I HAD IT COMING" SAYS PRESIDENT
Yes, this is what it has finally come to.
After fighting against Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Bosnia, Uzbekistan, Syria, Germany, Algeria, Tunisia, Czechslovakia,
Poland, Iceland, Antarctica, Canada, The Trekkie Society and America's Fishmongers United; George W. has now turned on himself
in the war against terrorism.
"I am dangerous, and I need to be stopped. If we send in the weapons inspectors, I am 100% sure that they
will find me in possesion of illegal weapons of mass destruction in the near future."
When asked why he had decided that he was indeed a terrorist, Bush replied:
"Well, it's obvious. I have killed loads of people, therefore I am a terrorist. I must be destroyed -
someone has to foil this regime, and that someone is America. I consider my brains, or lack of them, to be an extremely dangerous
weapon of mass dest... de... damaging stuff."
Unfortunately for Bush, no-one has shown any disagreement so far.
President Bush is now plotting to blow up the Whitehouse, with himself and everyone else inside.
"This is a top secret plan, and I will not know about it until it's too late. I will be blown to pieces in
an explosion the size of Texas. Ha! I don't stand a chance against myself! I am so great."
Members of the Whitehouse have been retiring at an astonishing rate, meaning that now Bush is the only member
of the senate, not to mention that all his staff have reported sick for the twentieth of January, the day the attack is scheduled.
Bush's wife and kids have run away to New Zealand. Bush comments:
"America, listen to me. I can't do this on my own. Luckily, my two invisible friends, Nigel P and Angelica
have agreed to assist me in annihilating myself. But I will succeed!"
No news is available as yet on whether or not George Bush really is going to blow himself up or not, because
nobody really cares. However, Tony Blair is joining in on the attack and has declared himself a terrorist as well. Unfortunately
for Blair, no-one cares about him either. Oh well.
In other news soon to follow: Dale Winton Could Be Messiah, Man Revealed To Be Coathanger With Extra Penguins
and Elvis Found To Be Alive and Female.
Please comment on this news, we welcome all comments from giant sock-eating monkeys.
